Happy Hour Valley

Billy Packer “Fags Out” On CBS; Millions Rejoice In The Streets

Without a doubt, this is the greatest news I’ve woken up to in a long time. From this day forward, millions of basketball fans across this great nation can watch the Final Four sans the “Mute” button now that this old curmudgeon is gone.

Whether it was his relentless criticism of mid-majors like Bradley and George Mason being the NCAA tournament, his constant bias towards Big East/ACC teams, his unwillingness to lighten up and stop taking things so seriously, or his tendency to call a game’s outcome with seven and a half minutes still remaining in the first half, Packer was arguably the most despised person in the announcing universe..and that’s saying something with folks like Craig James lurking out there.

Goodbye and good riddance, Billy.

All Aboard The “Stephen Curry Express”

Well, my brackets overall are not doing so hot (damn you: Villanova, Western KY Jelly, Xavier, Michigan State, Tennessee, and Stanford) but at least I got one of my “sleeper” picks right. I’m talking of course about Davidson getting into the Sweet 16. That alone made me a happy camper, particularly since practically everybody else had Georgetown at least making it to the Elite 8, if not further.

This is first time I can recall a practical “one-man show” carrying a team past the tourney’s first weekend since Wally Szczerbiak at Miami(OH) back in 1999, no doubt we’re about to see Stephen Curry’s draft stock rise exponentially after putting up 40 and 30 point games respectively. Keep in mind too, that Georgetown knew about this kid and likely had a game plan in place specifically for shutting him down, which makes his scoring feat that much more impressive.

HHV fondly recalls a time when the NCAA Tournament was part of “Wally’s World”

There’s arguably no sweeter feeling on the planet than bragging to your friends about your Nostradamus-like ability to pick sleepers when they in fact do come true as their reactions usually range from congratulatory to cursing you out while cursing themselves at the same time for not having the insight/balls to make such a pick themselves.

Not even Paul Mooney saw Davidson getting beyond the first weekend of the tournament…

Now, if only Butler didn’t choke on tuna fish…

Let’s Light The Candle On This Baby

Alright, less than half an hour ’til the 2008 edition of the “Big Dance” tips off:

• If you’re looking for some entertaining live-blogging, you might want to check out Awful Announcing, as they should be able to fulfill your experience.

• Also, it looks like Barack Obama, an avid basketball fan, is already thinking ahead to the May 6 primaries in North Carolina, as he favors the Tar Heels to knock off UCLA in the finals.
• Oh yeah, and look out for Butler, they’re marching all the way to the Elite Eight (at least in my own bracket pool which I set up amongst my fellow law school classmates)

These Three Things I KNOW Are True (Selection Sunday Edition)

1. J.A. Adande has been smoking too much peyote: NBA regular season games over March Madness? “Blasphemy!” I say. Not even Bill Simmons would dare to write such a column, even though he likely feels that way deep down inside, these are thoughts that you’re better off keeping to yourself…Much like being 30 and coveting high school-aged girls.
2. While all of you hoop-heads are endlessly analyzing and agonizing over your picks for the next four days like Ace Ventura trying to link “Finkle and Einhorn”, wondering whether you don’t have enough directional schools in your Sweet 16 or whether your Final Four has too many #1 seeds, just remember one thing: You have a better chance of bringing a stripper home than you do winning your office pool Probably just as effective as statistical analysis
3. This year’s tournament cannot possibly be as boring as last year’s. Aside from the lack of Cinderellas and the plethora of anti-climactic finishes, the tournament was missing it’s “voice of the first four rounds” as the geniuses at CBS decided to cut Gus Johnson’s announcing duties in half last March, having him do only the first two rounds. But I have good news for you: The geniuses at CBS have a soul.
4. Okay, I’m cheating here but for those of you who don’t know who Gus Johnson is (gasp!). Here’s a little “Gus-tage” for you:

You’re welcome…And a Merry Selection Sunday to you too.