Wisconsin Preview (This Is Going To End Well *Pause* NOT!!!)
An action shot from the last time PSU beat Wisconsin nearly seven years ago. It is the only recorded instance of Jan Jagla living up to his nickname as "The Berlin Wall"
After a tease of a loss at Minnesota (albeit, a game I never expected us to hang around in), the Fighting DeChellises will make their Big Ten home debut today against Wisconsin. In case you weren’t aware, Wisconsin is one of two teams that Ed DeChellis has yet to clinch a victory against. In fact, you have to go all the way back to February of 2003 to find the last time PSU beat the Badgers, which occurred during Jerry Dunn’s swan song as head coach. Approximately five students stormed the court after the buzzer sounded, one of them carrying a “FIRE JERRY DUNN” sign.
The Badgers are somehow merely a 4.5-point favorite here and I’m not so sure why. Everytime PSU and Wisconsin get together, you can count on the following to happen:
- Executing Bo Ryan’s “swing” offense to perfection, Wisconsin milks down 30 seconds of the shot clock while using crisp ball movement, and well-set screens to get themselves a quality backdoor layup or an wide-open perimeter shot
- Wisconsin’s stingy defense stymies PSU’s offensive rhythm
- Wisconsin always forces the tempo to their liking (see: snail’s pace), PSU meanwhile makes zero effort to try and speed things up and get Wisconsin out of their comfort zone
- Wisconsin emerges victorious (added in 2004)
So, how does PSU end this embarassing futility streak? Simple, Ed DeChellis steals a page from Urban Meyer’s playbook and announces 10 minutes before tipoff that this will be his last game as head coach and that he is stepping down because he’s burned out. Penn State then plays its most inspired basketball of the year and pulls out the shocking upset, the locals storm the court (students are still on break), and at the post-game press conference DeChellis tells everyone “HA, SUCKERS!” and says he’s merely taking a three-day leave of absence, right before the Michigan game this Thursday.
Ah, who the hell am I kidding? Wisky covers the spread, easily. Book it, Danno. BDIA will be doing the same.