Happy Hour Valley

HHV Wishes You A Happy Independence Day

And please, make sure all your fingers and limbs are intact tomorrow morning…

Reasons I Love College Football: “White Outs”

It’s July, there’s no meaningful football talk yet, and since C&C is doing a fine job covering Talor Battle’s Serbian escapades, I’m going to start a running segment designed to carry me through this proverbial dead month for college sports bloggers entitled Reasons I Love College Football.

The basic premise of course, is to highlight the numerous reasons why college football has and remains to this day, my favorite sport to follow. Since this is a PSU blog, it would only be appropriate to kickstart this series with an homage to the one and only Beaver Stadium “White Out”

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Levi Norwood Commits (aka When “Keeping It Real” Goes Right)

Say what you want about Levi’s lack of stars, his wispy, 6′2″ 170-lb frame, or the fact that the school his dad currently coaches at (Baylor) didn’t even offer him a scholarship. Given how other low-rated recruits such as Ollie Ogbu, Deon Butler, and Jordan Norwood have fared in recent years though,  I trust the coaching staff on this one: They got to see Levi perform at camp this past weekend and obviously saw some things in him that reminded them of Jordan’s receiving abilities, otherwise they wouldn’t have bothered with an offer.

Plus, as BSD rightly points out: Levi is likely to grayshirt anyway, meaning that he won’t take away a precious schollie that could be used to nab State College’s Finest. Look for the newest Norwood to be a contributor at some point in his career, leaving this saga to be looked back upon in a few years as an example of justifiable nepotism.

And for those of you wondering “Does this REALLY deserve a Goo Punch?” My simple answer to you is this:

Big Ten Bloggers “Fearless Forecast” ‘09

It’s the end of June, which means it’s that time of the year where the Big Ten Bloggers make their annual preseason predictions (most of which we’ll be dead wrong about). Because it’s a slow news period and for tradition’s sake, I’ve decided to participate for a second straight year. A hearty “thanks” go out to Lake The Posts for taking the time out of his busy schedule to organize this and provide the BTB’s consensus picks on his webpage (see link above).

Big Ten Coach of the Year: Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern

I also considered Mark Dantonio and Ron Zook but they both have talented enough teams to the point that everyone is expecting them to finish in the top half of the conference (i.e. 6th or above). Northwestern, on the other hand, has lost quite a bit offensively including C.J. Bacher at QB and Tyrell Sutton at tailback.

If the Wildcats can pick up 8 or 9 wins again this year (which I think they’re capable of, with plenty of starters returning on defense) it would be a testament to just how superb of a job Fitz has done at making sure Northwestern remains a “consistent winner” by Northwestern standards, and then some.

Best Heisman Candidate: Evan Royster, Penn State

Unless you play in a system like Texas Tech’s where at least 60 passes per game are thrown, you can forget about a Big Ten wide receiver being seriously thought of as a Heisman candidate. As for Terrelle Pryor: Get back to me when he showcases a throwing arm…

I’m looking for Royster to improve on last year’s 1236 total rushing yards, particularly since I expect him to get his number called more often due to a less experienced receiving unit. PSU’s weak schedule should also give Royster ample opportunity to pad his stats up to Heisman-worthy levels.

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Who’s Thirsty For Some “Double-Dip Commit” Goo Punch?

These past 24 hours have been nothing short of clutch recruiting-wise as Larry Johnson Sr. has once again worked his magic and ensured PSU fans that the D-line will continue to kick ass for years to come, thanks to a pair of commitments from 4-star DT’s Evan Hailes (above, left) and DaQuan Jones (above, right).

Could Alex Kenney and Robert Bolden be making it official as well before this weekend is over? I don’t know, but what I do know is that it’s time to break out the GOO PUNCH! Take it away, fellas…

Time For Another “Recruiting Coup”

Found this nice little tidbit from Penn Live a few minutes ago:

ESPN.com’s recruiting blogger Bill Kurelic is reporting that four outstanding recruits are packing their bags and headed to State College this weekend to participate in the Nittany Lions’ summer football camp.Kurelic names four four-star rated players: athletic Orchard Lake, Mich. quarterback Robert Bolden, goliath-sized 6-4, 300-pound Johnson City, N.Y. defensive tackle DaQuan Jones, explosive 6-1, 310 pound Chesapeake, Va. lineman Evan Hailes and the Mid-Penn Conference’s own Alex Kenney from State College High.

According to ESPNInsider.com, all four rank Penn State near the top of their college destination list.

You can click on the link above to read the rest of the article but bottom line: This weekend could end up sounding off the siren over at BSD and if I were forced at gunpoint to bet on just one person verballing to the good guys, I’d throw my money down on Bolden.

Robert Bolden is pumped for PSU football camp.

From what I’ve gathered through research on the internets, Bolden’s top two schools were down to Michigan State and Penn State and yesterday, MSU got a commitment from 4-star QB Joe Boisture. Boisture is a classic, pro-style, drop-back QB who seems to be a great fit for Mark Dantonio’s style of offense, moreso than the speedy Bolden (runs a 4.6 40) who would be a better fit for JayPa’s Spread HD.

More importantly though, Boisture’s commit means Sparty’s QB needs have been fulfilled, according to The Only Colors:

This should end quarterback recruiting for MSU for this the 2010 class, as we’re already well-stocked at the position with Kirk Cousins, Keith Nichol, and Andrew Maxwell.  (All four, including Boisture, from the State of Michigan, interestingly enough.)  Boisture seems a sure bet for a redshirt year, and then should challenge Maxwell for the starting job.

As for the other three recruits: I can’t say I know much about how close Jones and Hailes are to making their decisions but it’s not unheard of for guys to commit after being enamored with a particular school’s camp. Kenney as mentioned before, is a State College kid and he’s probably got more time to decide being that he’s a local. I wouldn’t put it completely out of the realm of possibility though on Kenney giving a post-camp verbal.

Regardless, keep an eye out this weekend for some potentially big news on the recruiting front…

HHV’s Mid-Week Update

Don't get me wrong: I love Norm, but I can't let this site turn into a complete "sausage fest"

So, the last couple of days have featured some news-worthy happenings and since I’m busy procrastinating from studying for my upcoming exam I figured “Hell, might as well dispense my two cents.”

• All The BCS Cares About is Money “Student-Athlete” Welfare – For those of you that were unaware, representatives from the Mountain West Conference proposed an 8-team playoff to the BCS in an effort to give non power conferences a chance at earning college football’s holy grail, which gained serious steam in light of Utah’s upset of Alabama in the Sugar Bowl this past January.  The BCS committee accepted the proposal and then  burst into laughter five seconds later, rejecting it on grounds that it would have a negative effect on “student-athlete welfare, fan enjoyment, and the academic calendar.” They also went on to note that the proposal lacked a “business plan.”

For more commentary on this situation, we go to our senior B.S. correspondent: The Nittany Line

Listen jackoff, no one and I mean no one gives a flying rat’s ass about a business plan. We just don’t care, that’s not even a discussion in the circles of football fandom….

As for the ‘academic calendar’ bullshit, please, please give me your schedule. Give me two weeks between Thanksgiving and the middle of January and I’ll give you an 8 team playoff.

Week 1: 8 teams become 4
Week 2: 4 teams become 2
Championship game is played the same time it always is.

• Sports Illustrated “Hearts” Talor Battle – This week’s SI features a short but sweet story on Talor Battle’s emergence into college basketball’s spotlight. However, it appears that Ed DeChellis and staff need to look up the definition of a “game-winner” (I bolded the only thing that should be considered a game-winner below).

“How many game-winners did Bubby have last season?” Penn State coach Ed DeChellis, a spectator at the trials, asked his assistant Kurt Kanaskie, who proceeded to catalog Battle’s big shots: a go-ahead three with 2:14 left against Iowa on Jan. 24; a banked-in runner with 0.3 of a second left to beat Illinois on March 5; and a game-tying three at the end of regulation against George Mason in the NIT on March 17, followed by eight straight points in the overtime victory that launched the Lions’ title run.

• I’m Warning You, DO NOT Push That “Snooze Button” – Kickoff times for the opening three football games were announced yesterday, and the slot machine turned up “jackpot.” That is, if you consider jackpot to be three straight Noon starts airing on the Big Ten Network. Kevin at NittanyWhiteOut sums it up best: Prepare for shorter tailgates and slow-filling student sections
• Yes, We Also Field Some Pretty Decent Track Teams at PSU – As an avid runner myself, I feel bad that I haven’t done enough hyping of our cross-country and track teams but now is a good time to start making up for it by giving a shout-out to the men’s XC and track teams for finishing 14th in the inaugural “John McDonnell Program Of The Year” standings. The way the standings work is much like golf, you add up each school’s national rankings from the three different seasons (i.e. Cross Country, Indoor Track, and Outdoor Track) and the team with the lowest overall score wins.

Not surprisingly, Oregon is at the top of the standings. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Oregon is to track as Kentucky is to basketball and Notre Dame is to football (minus the sleaziness and arrogance of their coaching staffs, of course). Being anywhere near the same stratosphere as a program like Oregon’s is kind of a big deal and deserves plenty of praise.

Additionally, props go out to distance runner Bridget Franek for making ESPN the Magazine’s Academic All-America team. Franek holds several school records including the indoor mile, 3000-meter, and steeplechase and will be competing at the USATF Championships this week in Eugene, Oregon at one of track’s most sacred venues: Hayward Field.

JayPa Also Thinks “Turd Ferguson” Is a Funny Name

Long-time readers of this blog (all 10 of them) are aware of my affinity for all things Norm MacDonald-related. In fact, my profile picture on Twitter consists of Norm dressed as Burt Reynolds/Turd Ferguson in the famed Saturday Night Live “Celebrity Jeopardy” sketches.

So needless to say, I was giddier than a teenage slumber party when Jay Paterno himself, professed his Celebrity Jeopardy fandom on his Twitter page.

What’s that? You have no idea what I’m talking about? I’ll pretend you didn’t just say that and leave you with a video clip for the uneducated.

PSU Flexes Its Muscles At The BTN Awards

The Big Ten Network recently had its 2nd annual award show. While it was missing epic musical performances, a quality monologue (Why couldn’t they get Mike Hall to do one? He seems like a funny guy), and tuxedos, the show was nonetheless a raging success for Penn State as a whole.

Jamelle Cornley took home a BTN for “Most Courageous Performance” while Joe Paterno and Russ Rose represented in the “Men’s Coach Of The Year” and “Women’s Coach Of The Year” categories respectively, and Serbia-bound Talor Battle’s “shot” to beat Illinois took top honors for “Best Finish Of The Year.”

Speaking of which…Let’s fire that video up one more time, shall we?

DAMN, that felt good!

Anyway, in addition to taking home four awards, PSU was nominated in just about every one of the ten or so categories up for grabs. Now, that’s what I call “making your presence felt.”

Time To Play “Catch Up”

So I’ve been busy with exams and pondering my career path over the last few days, which means I’ve been in no mood to post until now. As always though, I seem to miss out on the hottest news whenever I take time off like this so once again, it’s time to catch up to speed with a little recap:

• Meet The Newest Kid On The Block: I meant to do this a while ago, but if you haven’t heard of the Nittany Lounge, I’d highly recommend paying the site a visit, particularly if you want to keep with the latest news on this year’s opponents. You can even view all the opposing team’s rosters right now which gives you ample time to figure which players are fair game for beastiality jokes.
• What Kind of “Blitz?” The recent commitment of DE Kyle Baublitz (not sure if the “Bau” is pronounced like the type of tie that Tucker Carlson wears or the way a performer thanks his audience after a show) marked the 8th of its kind in what is shaping up to one kickass recruiting season for the football program. It also came in the form of a much-needed D-line recruit who should help ensure that the unit continues to “reload” as opposed to “rebuilding.”
• Hey! Look! We’re on ESPN…And We’re Not Being Smeared! JoePa was interviewed recently on College Football Live and once again, nothing ground-breaking was discussed. If you’re a fan though of such re-hashed topics as: “How has college football changed since you started coaching?” or “Do you think it’s fair that Bobby Bowden might have his 14 precious wins wiped off his record even though he oversaw a bunch of cheaters?” then you’ll probably enjoy it.

• In Other News: Mark Schlabach Has Been Declared “Legally Retarded” Courtesy of this little gem where Schlabach tries to match up Pac-10 and Big 10 teams

Indiana vs. Southern California
Honestly, it doesn’t matter which Big Ten team plays USC. Even the Hoosiers could play the Trojans as well as the rest of the Big Ten teams did the past few seasons.

Yeah, moving on…

• Taran Buie is Coming to State College Per the Centre Daily Times. This isn’t exactly shocking news to those of us who’ve been keeping close tabs on PSU hoops. Nonetheless, as a State College native and a graduate of State College Area High School myself, this feels a lot like seeing the super-hot chick moving into your neighborhood. If I’m still living in State College next basketball season, I might just have to attend a game. It’s not very often you have a 4-star basketball prospect playing in your backyard, after all.
• Here’s a Great Idea For a TV Show: Let’s get Joe Buck, the most boring person in sports broadcasting, and give him his own talk show on HBO. We’ll also invite a bunch of guests from the sports and entertainment industry including Artie Lange and allow them to engage in a free-flowing discussion with the host where almost nothing is off-limits. What could possibly go wrong?
• I’m Gonna Go Out on a Limb Here: Penn State Will Go Undefeated And Have Not One, But TWO Heisman Trophy Finalists This Year. Ever wondered how certain historic events would’ve been covered if the internet existed in its current form? No worries, Deadspin’s got you covered with regards to the 15th anniversary of the O.J. Simpson Bronco chase. And please, read the comments in that article if you want to see some outlandish predictions circa 1994.